The Road Less Traveled
by Maribeth Delzer

"I was given a sign," I struggled against the silence on the other end of the line..."an opportunity inspired me". "Who gave you a sign?" the voice demanded. Immediately I caught myself-"she doesn't believe in God". "A sign..." my voice fading. It was impossible to describe the connection I found with my faith-more than just a freshness after treatment from the hospital. I had acquired a strong, intuitive awareness of being in sync with the awareness of a God. The voice on the phone, insisting now, told me, "There weren't any terrible consequences, were there?" I wondered if my call merited a crisis phone counselor, then reluctantly agreed with her.

Funny, when you are not well you want nothing more than to be alone, believing and consequently imprisoned by your paranoid delusions. Not even an interest in meals. However, when recovering, you clamor for connection and understanding.

In the hospital, days went by making little Christmas ornaments, entering my skill at a board game, waiting to hear my name when breakfast trays were delivered. I can't say I was thinking of my faith at the time. "He" was doing the thinking for me. I was being "carried". I witnessed my own resurrection from a tortured mind to becoming a person prayer must have produced. The staff who cared for me, those that made an impression, I'm sure were Christian. Not even my family portrayed the consistent kindness and patience. How I finally interacted with others, even acquiring a sense of humor, had been a gift. If mental illness is an imprisoned mind, then mental health would be a celebration of meaning, order and grace.

My niece, 10 years old, was given a school assignment to write about someone in her class. She wrote, "Mary and Jesus are always with me in class..." and continued. Question and debate God's presence, you will, but acknowledge Him you must. Our technology, art pieces, our thoughts-all engineered by God.

Another friend of mine once said, "Some people travel a distance for an escape, others travel with their mind." I had traveled a long way until my struggles earned God's attention. Today I have just completed my first semester in earning a degree in counseling. I was at the top of my class. If I can be instrumental in helping another person find peace I will have shown some gratitude.

Story edited by John Veierstahler and published by HopeToHealing.com
with permission of Maribeth Delzer.
© 2004 Maribeth Delzer