Just Keep It Simple
by Marge Pesek

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in the late 60's, a diagnosis I refused to accept. The following years were spent with several hospitalizations, medications, shock treatments and alcohol. Though I was able to work, there were episodes of paranoia and hallucinations that prevented me from holding jobs for long periods of time.  I would work on jobs that would last from one day to two years.  Relationships and family communications were nil during this time and I was in financial ruin. Hard to believe, but true, I had no life, I was just existing.

In the late 70's, I had a severe schizophrenia breakdown, which was, of course in reality, the greatest event of my life. I finally acknowledged I had a problem. Not being too keen on medications and counseling, I self medicated with alcohol for several years. A turning point in my life came when I did manage to turn to Jesus for salvation.

In the early 80's, I experienced a wonderful conversion. The Lord came into my life and has been my Counselor ever since. Though there are times when I have episodes of the paranoia and disassociated thought patterns, I have learned to hide my illness from public view. Today I have good friends, a wonderful family relationship, self respect and self control over situations that once baffled me. I communicate much better and work on projects to their completion. I have a job and plan to retire when my earthly occupation is finished. No grandiosity here!

There are, of course, many details during these past 40 some years I have deliberately left out for good reason. That being, not many people have heard my story and the healing is moving me through life in less dramatic ways than what I experienced throughout the 80's. As well, I am no longer opening the door to think long and hard over the details. I never wish to close this door, for God may have other plans; but I do not dwell on the past. God reveals a little at a time when I need to recall or work through something related. And usually, when it is to help others, I can share more as well; which is my reason for sharing this now in the first place.

Therefore, I hope my story can offer hope to anyone who can trust in the Lord and make some dramatic changes in his/her life. Those who are willing to accept the problem, believe there is a solution not found exclusively in the traditional ways of medications and hospitalizations, can take the Lord's invitation, "Come to me all you who labor." Yes there is hope, hope indeed when a person finds the Lord.

There are those as well, who for the longevity and acceptance of their mental disorder may need the medications and other treatments to put their behavior in control. Once their reasoning and rational thinking is restored, I believe, they too, have the capacity to turn their life over to God.

I believe with all my heart there is hope for those who feel hopeless and helpless in every situation. An exception, in my opinion, may be of those who are organically damaged and will not recover through their own power of reasoning. Yet, these may be God's messengers to the rest of us to acquire an attitude of gratitude for what we have and are able to have by His grace and goodness.

To conclude: My message today, for the reader, is one of hope and certainty that no one is really lost or hopeless in God's eyes. It is my prayer, that as God knocks on the door of your heart, you will open it with the keys He has put within, and that you receive the healing He has prepared especially for you. Simply put, this is the way it has happened for me.

I am no expert on the recovery aspects of the mentally ill. I am but a witness to what the Lord can do and has done for me. I dedicate this story to my dear mother, Eleanor Pesek, for her devotion, prayers and love throughout the years; and, to my dear friend Sister Anna Wolfe, SSSF for having enlightened my journey with friendship, and unconditional acceptance. I also want to thank my family, doctors, therapists, religious, and good friends who have helped me along the way; and, have manifested the presence of God for me during these difficult years. I thank Sister Ann Catherine and her brother John Veierstahler, for their encouragement and giving me the opportunity to share my story.

"To God be the Glory!"

Story edited by John Veierstahler and published by HopeToHealing.com
with permission of Marge Pesek.
© 2003 Marge Pesek