Faith and Recovery from Mental Illness
My Keys: Contentment and Trust
by Janet Zill

Did you ever take a psychological test with this wording: "I would be happy if...?" Well, my answer is, I am happy. I am happy because I am content with whatever God gives me, and I am happy because I trust God will always take care of me.

For now, my greatest daily pleasure is taking a 14 block walk. I conclude my walk either by walking through a small, beautiful park or by stopping to visit with an elderly but vivacious neighbor.

I am also content with the way God made me. I love myself now, because everything about me was planned by God. I've been ill since I was 16. It took years to accept that I would always have to take at least one pill daily. Looking back I see blessings coming from my mental illness, for example, some beautiful friendships.

I have had to trust God more than most people, because my outlook was so bleak. I was already hospitalized two times in high school, and my parents very reluctantly let me go to college. My college years were the happiest years of my life, and my freshman roommate has been my best friend for 40 years.

Marriage and a family were my biggest desires. I still trusted God for them when I became mentally ill during my senior year of college.

I married at age 23. My husband had epilepsy. No one told us we were disabled, so he worked and we raised three children. I had several breakdowns but always friends took care of the children while I was ill. I never worried they would be put in foster care.

My most recent example of the trustworthiness of God, is that for 20 years I had gone without health insurance. In April, I applied for GAMP. Four days after approval, I was in the emergency room for a diabetic emergency.

I practice Jesus' advice to take no thought for tomorrow. I am a daily Bible reader. I know the book of Psalms almost like a computer. Often I will open my Bible at random, and find the text custom made for the present situation. I spend about an hour each night writing a spiritual essay. The answer to my problems seems to come in the process of writing to God.

My name, Janet encourages me. The meaning of the name Janet is God is merciful. I want to shout to the world my favorite Bible text. "The Lord is good to all." Psalm 145:9

Story edited by John Veierstahler and published by HopeToHealing.com
with permission of Janet Zill.
© 2004 Janet Zill