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Just Keep It Simple by Marge Pesek
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in the late 60's, a diagnosis I refused
to accept. The following years were spent with several hospitalizations, medications,
shock treatments and alcohol. Though I was able to work, there were episodes of paranoia
and hallucinations that prevented me from holding jobs for long periods of time. I would
work on jobs that would last from one day to two years. Relationships and family
communications were nil during this time and I was in financial ruin. Hard to believe,
but true, I had no life, I was just existing.
In the late 70's, I had a severe schizophrenia breakdown, which was, of course in reality, the
greatest event of my life. I finally acknowledged I had a problem. Not being too
keen on medications and counseling, I self medicated with alcohol for several years. A
turning point in my life came when I did manage to turn to Jesus for salvation.
In the early 80's, I experienced a wonderful conversion. The Lord came into my life and
has been my Counselor ever since. Though there are times when I have episodes of the
paranoia and disassociated thought patterns, I have learned to hide my illness from public
view. Today I have good friends, a wonderful family relationship, self respect and self
control over situations that once baffled me. I communicate much better and work on
projects to their completion. I have a job and plan to retire when my earthly occupation
is finished. No grandiosity here!
There are, of course, many details during these past 40 some years I have deliberately left out
for good reason. That being, not many people have heard my story and the healing is
moving me through life in less dramatic ways than what I experienced throughout the 80's.
As well, I am no longer opening the door to think long and hard over the details. I never
wish to close this door, for God may have other plans; but I do not dwell on the past.
God reveals a little at a time when I need to recall or work through something related.
And usually, when it is to help others, I can share more as well; which is my reason for
sharing this now in the first place.
Therefore, I hope my story can offer hope to anyone who can trust in the Lord and make some
dramatic changes in his/her life. Those who are willing to accept the problem, believe
there is a solution not found exclusively in the traditional ways of medications and
hospitalizations, can take the Lord's invitation, "Come to me all you who
labor." Yes there is hope, hope indeed when a person finds the Lord.
There are those as well, who for the longevity and acceptance of their mental disorder may need
the medications and other treatments to put their behavior in control. Once their
reasoning and rational thinking is restored, I believe, they too, have the capacity to turn
their life over to God.
I believe with all my heart there is hope for those who feel hopeless and helpless in every
situation. An exception, in my opinion, may be of those who are organically damaged and
will not recover through their own power of reasoning. Yet, these may be God's messengers
to the rest of us to acquire an attitude of gratitude for what we have and are able to have by
His grace and goodness.
To conclude: My message today, for the reader, is one of hope and certainty that no one
is really lost or hopeless in God's eyes. It is my prayer, that as God knocks on the door
of your heart, you will open it with the keys He has put within, and that you receive the
healing He has prepared especially for you. Simply put, this is the way it has happened for
me.
I am no expert on the recovery aspects of the mentally ill. I am but a witness to what
the Lord can do and has done for me. I dedicate this story to my dear mother, Eleanor
Pesek, for her devotion, prayers and love throughout the years; and, to my dear friend Sister
Anna Wolfe, SSSF for having enlightened my journey with friendship, and unconditional
acceptance. I also want to thank my family, doctors, therapists, religious, and good
friends who have helped me along the way; and, have manifested the presence of God for me
during these difficult years. I thank Sister Ann Catherine and her brother John
Veierstahler, for their encouragement and giving me the opportunity to share my story.
"To God be the Glory!"
Sincerely, Marge Pesek
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