|
Whatever Happened To Good Old-Fashioned Caring?
Motherhood and Miracles - The Awesome Story of MRS. DOLORES SCHOWALTER
By Sister Ann Catherine Veierstahler
Dolores E. Schowalter (Nee Stanczyk) Age 82. Found peace with God March 31,
2006. Beloved wife of the late Carl H. Schowalter. Devoted mother of Dale, Gary and Debbie.
Preceded in death by dear sister Margaret Rosinski, Betty Stanczyk, and Mary Ann Berendt.
Further survived by nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends. Also dearly loved by her
friends Joan and Grace. So reads the simple obituary of an extraordinary lady published in the
local newspaper, The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
This is a reflection on the life of Mrs. Dolores Schowalter. My only regret is that on April 5,
2006, Mrs. Schowalter was laid to eternal rest after a Mass in thanksgiving for her beautiful
life and she will never be able to read this tribute to her.
In June of 1998, Dolores's son, Gary, became a resident of Richardson House (later West
Samaria). Our lives intersected because I had just started working there one month before. Gary
was living alone, a situation that just did not work out for a number of reasons. He needed
supportive community living. Gary had a little trouble adjusting to Richardson House so his
mother, Mrs. Dolores Schowalter, not only would come to visit him, but started visiting all the
other 90 residents who lived with Gary. Together with her daughter, Debbie Schowalter, her
daughter's friend, Joan Paradiso, Joan's mother Grace and another friend, Sylvia, the five
women started to come every week of the year, year after year, providing bingo parties, popcorn
socials, clothes, memorial services when a resident died, birthday parties each month and a
host of other activities. One summer, these five women accompanied the residents on 18
different outings in the community of Milwaukee - Festa Italiana, the zoo, the ball game, a
camping trip (first time for many of the residents) and parties at Gesu Parish just to name a
few outings.
I want to put this work of Dolores in some perspective. Richardson house was located in one of
the most dangerous areas of Milwaukee. The name was changed to West Samaria in January of 1999
because of the reputation of the boarding house - hoping that a new name would help people
realize that this building had some new beginnings and through the work of these 5 women the
building was being changed into a home and a caring community. There were literally very few if
any social activities going on at the time the women started coming to West Samaria.
Week after week, one evening a week and often on Saturdays or Sundays, these women would come
to share activities with the residents. They didn't form a committee, they didn't go to the
government for funds, and they didn't wait for faith communities to respond. If they
participated in a walk to raise money, they would bring their residents along with them for the
celebration. Dolores Schowalter saw a need and immediately responded within the first few weeks
that Gary started to live at Richardson House.
Dolores did not have any money. She seldom attended a gala dinner to raise funds - she was on a
monthly fixed income. But, she did have motherhood! She knew how much a hug meant, she knew
what it meant to get a special piece of clothing and she know that each person at West Samaria
was now one of her sons and daughters.
Each of them counted in her life. For the monthly birthday parties she would take a few dollars
from her limited income and shop at Walgreen's or the Dollar Store to buy gifts for residents
who had a birthday that month, a special gift that she knew the individual would like. Grace
would help her do the shopping. Then she would wrap the gifts beautifully. Her extra room at
home was always filled with various gifts for the next party. For some of the residents, this
was the first time they ever had a birthday party in their honor. Remember that Dolores, Grace
and Sylvia were in their 70's when they started their volunteer work at Richardson House (West
Samaria). To the residents, the three older women were their mother, grandmother and loving
women who showered them with love and caring. Hundred's of pictures were taken of the residents
and many were given as gifts to the residents. The residents treasured these pictures - again
the gift of their own picture showed how much Dolores and the "Samaritan Socialites"
brought dignity to the residents. Dolores knew every resident by name and always carried their
pictures to share their story with anyone she would listen.
Dolores was passionate about "her family". She shared her story and their story with
Dorothy Seeley, President of the Untied Seniors of WI, Inc. The next weekend, Dorothy Seeley
came to West Samaria with her Board of Directors to meet the residents and see what was needed
at the Boarding home. She left the premises writing a $200.00 check for the needs of the
people. But... Dorothy Seeley, herself in her 80's, and her board of directors continued to
come to West Samaria to host parties and provide for the needs of the people. She not only
wrote out a check, she came on site to help change the lives for so many very sick, often
lonely and sometimes forgotten people who suffered from mental and/or substance use
conditions.
Dolores and Debbie continued to share the story of their son and brother, Gary. Many volunteers
started to come on site to help them with their socials and other activities. It would take a
book to write all that Dolores and Debbie Schowalter, Grace and Joan Paradiso and Sylvia have
done for hundreds of our sickest and sometimes forgotten people with mental illness here in
Milwaukee. Dale, Dolores's other son reflected that the five women probably never even thought
about the dangers of the neighborhood they were going in to. Their focus was on the dignity of
people who lived in West Samaria. Churches such as Holy Assumption and St. Margaret Mary to
name a few, began to provide resources and activities. Marquette students were frequent
visitors to East and West Samaria.
Meg Kissinger wrote some very powerful articles for our Milwaukee Journal Sentinel a few weeks
ago. Meg will always be special to me because she changed my life around by allowing me to
share my own struggle with mental illness.
From what I understand, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel received many emails about the fact that
how could we, as a Milwaukee Community, neglect our sickest people. Some of these letters were
printed on the editorial page.
Now I ask, how many of these people who wrote the letters and emails went down to the group
homes and asked, "What can I do for you?" "Can I prepare a nice meal, help you
wash clothes, help you paint your front porch, spend time playing cards or a game or watching
TV with your residents?"
Dolores Schowalter saw a need. She did not ask what she could do - she did all that she could
do. She did not send a check - she went on site - in one of our poorest neighborhoods (the area
I grew up in) and opened her arms with hugs to not only her son, but to 90 sons and daughters,
every week all year around.
Father Michael T. Newman said it so well at Dolores's funeral. It was out of her own suffering
that she showed the compassion and caring that the people she served needed. Dale, her son,
shared that his mother could feel one with the residents because of her own struggles with
loneliness, anxiety and other health problems.
Over my more than 25 years of working on the streets of Milwaukee, I have meet many modern day
Mother Theresa's, including so many case managers and others. Dolores was truly a Mother
Therese. My own mother, Mrs. Katherine Veierstahler, also falls in these ranks. Week after week
and year after year, even as a widow, she too provided the same loving care as Dolores did to
the residents at Southern Wisconsin Center where my own sister, Rita lived for over 30 years.
How well I knew the suffering of my own mother. But she too, like Dolores, changed the
suffering into simple acts of loving kindness, which made all the difference in the world to
the people whose lives they touched.
I know the life Dolores lived, a life of love, will be a legacy and that Debbie, her daughter,
Joan, Grace and Sylvia will continue this great legacy. How many others will face the
challenge?
How many people will stop talking about the needs - and take action? How many people will not
just write out the check but will drive to where the needs are and offer their services? Will
Meg's articles make a difference? Who will make a difference? Who will to be the next modern
day Mother Theresa?
I close with a poem that was found by her daughter after Dolores died - on a worn sheet of
paper tucked in her mother's personal Bible. ---
A Mountain to Climb by Gina Laurin
|
